Hello! My name is Kiko. I was a NWSS student back in 2015. I was an exchange student from Japan. My dream at the time was to become an international model so I knew I wanted to learn how to speak English. Despite the fact that I couldn't speak English well at first, I liked my school life at NWSS. I made many friends and met students from all over the world. However, as I started doing modeling in Vancouver, I started being told by my agent there that I was "too fat" for the industry. One day, she asked me if I could lose 7-10 pounds in a week or so face-to-face in order to look like a "perfect" runway model. I was young, 17, and I knew why I went to Canada in the first place, so I said yes without any doubt. From that night, I went on an extreme diet where I was exercising 2hours at the gym after school and eating an apple and a "salad" - just remain lettuces. I kept living like this for one month and a half and I lost over 15 kg. I weighed 44kg at 180cm. I was constantly freezing no matter how many clothes I wore. I couldn't socialize with my friends anymore because I didn't want any events that involved food.
One day, I had an appointment with my school counselor, Meiyan and she asked me if everything was ok. And I said, I miss my family. She held my hands and noticed that my hands were freezing like ice. So she took me to a clinic near the school and the clinic sent me to a general hospital. My heart rate was 38 beats per min and I was told by the doctor that if I don't start eating now, I would have a heart attack and could die. I was diagnosed with anorexia. As much as I wanted to recover, I still wanted to lose weight. It was no longer about losing a certain amount of weight but about losing as much weight as possible. I was obsessed with controlling my weight to a point where my mood would totally depend on how much weight I lost compared to the date before.
My true recovery started when I moved back to Japan and discovered a lifestyle that suits me which was the plant-based diet. It not only nourished my soul and body but also made me feel like a good person. Because just by eating vegan, you can save the lives of animals and the planet as well. It gave me a light and a beautiful meaning to my life. I also started practicing gratitude every morning. Because when I was anorexic, I used to hide and waste my food. When I got to know that we live in a world where 1 in 9 people don't have enough access to food or die from starvation, I couldn't believe how ungrateful I was towards food. So til this day, every single morning, after my yoga practice, I think of and write down 5 things I am grateful for. Gratitude is truly the key to happiness.
Today, I am an ethical model based in Paris and Berlin. I model for ethical and sustainable brands to make the world a better place. After learning to love and be kind to myself, I started more space to care for the world and ready to spread the love to others. So I am passionately supporting fashion and lifestyle that is kind to our planet, people, and animals. I believe even a model can be a voice for positive change. I am also starting an ethical model agency, Ethical Models in Europe to connect sustainable brands with models who share their values.
Having an eating disorder in school was not easy but I can say that I'm so grateful for what I went through because it shaped me into the person who I am today, which I love.
Thank you so much for your time to read my story and I hope you know you're enough and you're loved.
- KIKO
For more details, I recommend you to check articles I have been featured in:
EcoMogul magazine, Eluxemagazine, Be Kind Magazine, Ethical Hedonist Magazine, Brut.Japan, Japan Today, The Alleah, and more.
Here is also a link to my story on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvt3ZYj4njA
